After several May days of blazing heat and humidity, today is nicely warm and fresh. 

I love this type of day. And today I’m feeling a little nostalgic… You see, my previous home has a screened-in deck at the back of the house. The view includes fields and a magnificent ancient oak tree. 

 

 

As soon as winter goes into hibernation, I put on warm clothes, grab a drink and head out to my favourite “room” of the house. Once settled on the deck’s cushioned wicker sofa and my drink safely on the little table, the air stills around me. 

The sight of the stalwart magnificent old oak slows me. Closing my eyes, the symphony of birdsong on the air perches on my tired shoulders. Gratitude rises to the Creator of all. The One who greets me with these morning gifts. 

 

 

Reaching for my Bible, I anticipate what He might have to “say” to me today. This ancient Holy Book that is as current and alive as when it was inked centuries ago.

Breezes often rustle the pages. Sometimes the boom of thunder and the rhythmic sound of falling rain accompany this breakfast for my soul.

Pens and journal lay near for thoughts, insights, questions, gratitudes, and more, to be remembered in a visual way. Often, I feel God’s nudge to pay attention to something in particular. At times words jump off the page and hit me in the face. Those especially need to be saved in my journal.

 

And so, today, I remember those times. My soul is hungry…

To be completely honest, lately I’ve been in a dry time. A time where the hours and days fly by and I realize I’ve not been spending that intentional time with God. Reading what He has to say to me. Contemplating what He says. Telling Him how I’m feeling. Telling and asking Him things I can only talk to Him about. 

And listening for His still, small voice. 

Today, I’m missing my best Friend.

It’s not that I haven’t been praying, I have… especially for others.

It’s not that I haven’t been in touch with His Word, I have… mostly listening on a new app that I love.

It’s not that I haven’t been aware of Him with me, I have… He has never left me and I haven’t left Him.

Sadly, this has happened to me before… Life just gets in your face sometimes. The problems. The pain. The humdrum…

 

As of this writing we are in a total lockdown. AGAIN. Due to the coronavirus named COVID-19. It’s been dominating headlines here for over 14 months. More than a year! 

It’s sad that so many people have died and many more have suffered through it. It’s sad and frustrating that so many more people are suffering in so many more ways because of the restrictions. Loss of jobs. Businesses closing down. Financial hardship. Schools closed. Learning going online from Junior Kindergarten and up. Mental health problems are rising. And so much more!

 

I’m tired of it!  I’m tired and frustrated that everything is so difficult! Exasperated with all the uncertainty! Tired of being told where I can or I cannot shop! Frustrated that I can’t visit my family! Tired of having nothing to look forward to because I can’t plan because we’re restricted and if I plan anything chances are the plans will be cancelled because restrictions lifted will be back harder than before! I’m tired of government deciding what is essential! Life is more than groceries! I’m frustrated and tired and feel control of my life is slipping away from me…. 

And every time loss is experienced in this COVID-19 season, waves of grief roll over the world…

Hmm. I guess this last lockdown has hit a nerve, been the straw that broke the camel’s back… Sometimes life’s like that.

How are you feeling today?  

 

But, maybe these feelings overtake me because I’m not spending intentional time with my best Friend.  

When we spend time together, I am more attuned to what He wants to tell me, to show me. When I share my deepest thoughts, questions, concerns, longings… well, it’s like a burden is lifted because He is the One who can truly do something about them. It’s safe to leave those deepest things to Him because I trust Him with them. He won’t betray my trust. Won’t gossip. Won’t call me ridiculous. Won’t roll His eyes. 

God is my Heavenly Father. He knows me best… and amazingly He loves me most. He is love. He is peace. He is joy… Being in His presence fills me with those things too.

Wow! It’s a beautiful day today! Not too hot. Not too humid. I could sit by the window in the warmth of the sunlight… Oh, look there! just past the parking lot, a picnic table under the shade of a beautiful old maple tree. Could be just the place to spend some of my day with the One who loves me best.

Where do you like to spend time with our Heavenly Father?

 

Let’s journey together…

 

2 Comments

  1. Merv

    Nice word Denise. I have a chair in the house that I go to early before anyone else gets up.

    Reply
    • denise budd rumble

      Thanks, Merv. It’s good to have the same spot to return to every day. Not only does it aid in creating a new habit, but as you approach that spot your mind and spirit begin to prepare for what you’re going to do. 🙂

      Reply

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